Download Shattered Dreams: The Story of Charlotte Fedders, by Charlotte Fedders, Laura Elliott
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Shattered Dreams: The Story of Charlotte Fedders, by Charlotte Fedders, Laura Elliott
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- Sales Rank: #1117804 in Books
- Published on: 1987-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 248 pages
From Publishers Weekly
As related to Elliott, Fedders's story moves from her birth in Maryland in 1943, through 16 years as an abused wife, to her divorce in 1985 from John R. Fedders, an official of the Securities Exchange Commission. The couple lived graciously in Washington, where in the privacy of their home the husband beat his wife and browbeat their five sons. In a less melodramatic telling, the book would more forcefully call needed attention to the problem of abused women. It is made abundantly clear that Fedders suffered brutality but the reason why she endured it for so many years is not satisfactorily explained. Elliott's contention that the victim's Catholic upbringing trained her to submissiveness is not entirely convincing. And there is no analysis of why the husband, with the same religious background, became a dangerous bully. Elliott is a reporter for Washingtonian magazine. Photos not seen by PW. 50,000 first printing; $50,000 ad/promo; paperback rights to Dell; Literary Guild and Doubleday Book Club alternates; author tour.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Should be required reading for middle school students
By Target lady
I read this book initially 25 years ago, and I think it should be required reading for middle school students in that the message is "Girls, you don't have to take this from anyone," and "Boys--this is NOT how you treat girls!" My late grandmother told me my freshman year of college that it's now time to start looking for a husband. I thought, "noooooo....I need to GRADUATE first!" I'm glad I didn't heed her advice, as one of my best friends from college was more "MRS" degree-oriented, and she later had to escape her abusive marriage. This book taught me a lot, and I'm proud of Ms. Fedders' courage.
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
When Wife-Beating was "Acceptable"
By B. Wolinsky
People tend to live according to social norms and mores, rather than according to laws. When readers ask "why did she stay with an abusive man for 17 years" the answer is clear; leaving the husband wasn't "acceptable". Fedders would have gotten no support if she'd left her husband in the early years of their marriage (or later even). The courts would've given custody to her husband, she wouldn't have gotten any alimony, and she might've had trouble getting a job (employers could refuse to hire a divorced woman). Besides, her husband was "respectable" and she would've had no advocate. In those days, women were trapped. The codified law that says "beating someone is illegal" didn't apply to the marriage; it was the norms and mores that ruled, and those norms and mores said that wife beating was to be tolerated "tolerated for the good of the marriage".
Did Fedder's Catholic upbringing have anything to do with it? Maybe so. If she'd gone to talk to a Priest, what would he have done? In those days, the Priest wouldn't call the husband to his office and chew him out! He wouldn't threaten to excommunicate him for beating his wife! If she'd told the Priest "why must I stay in a marriage where I'm being abused" he would've said "you're a Catholic, make the best of it". What could she do?
In the 1980's, I saw campaigns in the form of TV ads, TV sitcom episodes, and magazine articles, encouraging women to stand up to abusive husbands. Spousal abuse was becoming a public issue, and people were beginning to see it as "unacceptable". But years earlier, it was simply tolerated. Back in the 1960's, men were rarely arrested for beating their wives or children. Beating one's wife was on par (according to mores and norms of the time) with breaking in a pet. Watch THE BURNING BED if you want an example.
We debate the merits of "social engineering", where masses of people change their attitudes. Some say it's "changing times" that change people, but books like these really can "engineer" social norms. By the 1990's, not only was wife-beating seen as unacceptable, but so was sexual harassment, child molestation, tenant harassment, and other forms of injustice. There was a time when sexual abuse was rarely reported, but now it's taken more seriously. Look at the Catholic Church sex abuse lawsuits as an example. Nobody is immune.
Even today, people can be trapped in abusive relationships, and it doesn't always involve beatings. For instance, a mentally ill husband controls his family by threatening suicide, and pressures his wife into doing everything his way. Or an abusive mother threatens to kill her sons pets if the boy doesn't obey.
The bottom line is, when the Fedders were married, there was no place to turn to if you were in an abusive marriage.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Shattered Dreams
By Danny Matthews
This book was very good.
Charlotte really went through some very hard times with her husband
John. I am glad to hear she was able to break away and control her own life. I was shocked to read just how mean this man could be.
I first saw this movie on TV some years back and it was good but the book is so much better. It goes into a lot more detail about
her marriage to John. I hope that John has gotten help for his need to control everyone. Who did he think he was?
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